By The Light
by HeavensBells
Summary: Maerad. Cadvan. Argument. Leads. To. Yeah. Based on the Pellinor series including The Naming or The Gift if you're in Aussie , The Riddle, and The Crow all by Alison Croggon. I own nothing. Enjoy.


**Chapter the First**

"Then maybe you should figure it out yourself!", Maerad shouted.

"Well, I would if I had the proper resources, but at this point, _unfortunately,_ it all leads to you!", Cadvan retorted loudly.

"Oh, I see how it is, I'm a _resource! _ That's all I am. It-It's all I am to you!", her voice cracked repeatedly now, and as she lost the edge to her tone that suggested that she was angry, Cadvan's emotion turned from slight anger and annoyance to protective and concerned like a snowball thrown into flame. Melted. Her anger suddenly returned and she walked right up to Cadvan and poked him in the chest, so close he could smell her tears, and said, "And i-if it's ssso _unfortunate _that you have to _be_ around me then w-why don't you just _scry _me and b-be done with it and _g-go!" _She said the last word with bitter intensity.

It was all too much for Cadvan, because on the inside, he was burning. He couldn't stand seeing her so angry, so upset, on the verge of tears, all because of him and some stupid argument between them that had stemmed simply from being around each other so often. But then, that was the problem, he thought to himself. Being around her so often had been very, very difficult for Cadvan. Here he was, practically an old man, experienced in the ways of the world, teaching a young woman what she needed to know to survive in the world she hadn't even known exsisted. He should have thought of her as a daughter or at least a niece or even a cousin or something. But he didn't, he couldn't, and he never would. Since the first day he had seen her, filthy and miserable in the cowbyre, he had thought her to be the most beautiful face he had ever beheld. And then, as he got to know her and be around her all day and all night in their travels, he thought her even more beautiful. But, that alone was not the reason for his feelings. No, just being around Maerad had changed him in some way he couldn't describe. It was as if he had hope again. Hope for her that turned into hope for himself, as he realized what his feelings for her meant. He cared for her more than any other living being and his care turned into a passion that ran so deep it was the very cause of their many heated arguments. She'd say something that struck some chord, something that gave him either fear of losing her, or that made him so jealous he could just spit, or something about giving up and just wanting to end it all, or when she attacked him in some way that made him fear that she couldn't even tolerate him. The very ideas of such things hurt him deeply, though he knew he should ignore his own hurt and only think of her.

An eternity in only a few seconds had passed, and Maerad's face was still very close to his, though she was shorter so she had to look up at him, her face contorted in emotion. He didn't care anymore. Though he hated seeing her like this, he still couldn't help but think how beautiful she was, he couldn't help but notice the heat radiating off of her body, and he couldn't help noticing her soft lips. He couldn't take it anymore. He had no idea if she was really seeing him in this moment, or if all she saw was the anger he had felt one minute ago when he had actually had the will to agrue back. But now, all he felt was a strong impulse. And impulse that he acted on, for once in his life.

Surprise overtook Maerad as suddenly, she saw a glimmer in Cadvan's eyes that hadn't been there before, as if he had let something go inside himself, and also very suddenly, she felt warm hands on her middle to lower back, pulling her in, flush against his warm body, his warm, soft, and at the same time rock-hard body. She knew what was going to happen. She gave up. She couldn't take it anymore. He must have known. She had been lying to him and to herself for a long time now. He must have figured it out. Figured her out. She knew that the only reason she got so mad was because she cared about him so much, a care that fueled a passion that grew more and more each day. A passion that caused her to act crazy when they argued in the slightest. And then their lips crashed together, the force behind either side just as strong as the other. She had still been a little angry, right before his lips touched hers and her hands snaked around his shoulders and found their way into his hair, and then the world melted away, and the only thing in the room was him, and his mouth, and his body, his warmth, and his mind. His arms pulled her even tighter against him, and she responded accordingly with her own limbs, though she could barely feel her legs at the moment. The kiss deepened, and Maerad felt so clear, as if all she had to do was think something and he could hear her, and he would understand.

_Maerad, I love you. And I don't want any confusion here. I don't love you like a sister, or a daughter, or a cousin, or a neice, or even a friend, though I do care for you more than anyone else in this world, and I would do anything for you. Maerad, I love you like... a lover. I want you... like a freezing cold person wants a fire, and I need you like someone dying of thirst needs a drink. _The voice of Cadvan in her mind was breathless and invigorating. It also felt so _right. _There was no way she'd ever be able to decribe it, but they just _fit _together perfectly. _I've loved you for so damn long, Maerad, and everytime I have started this arguing with you it has had something to do with my own selfish feelings for you. I admit they are selfish. I want you for me, and only me. I love you. I don't think I can live... without you. _The last words cracked on his deep, sensual voice. His lips never stopped kissing her deeply. Her heart never stopped pounding like it was going to burst out of her chest. The feelings cascading through her entire being, emotionally as well as physically, never stopped swimming and soaring. Everywhere he touched her was like a jump start for those feelings, and then they ran through her, freeing her from all inhibition. She pulled herself even closer to him, if that was possible, and responded with her mind.

_I don't think I can live without you, either. I argue with you for all the same reasons. I need you in every way that there is to need. Every. Way. Don't stop. I love you. _The last three words she whispered. He heard them. Every one. But the ones he felt were most important in this very moment were the two that came before the last three. He should have felt surprised. He had never so much as hoped that she felt the same way about him. Okay, so he had hoped. But he hadn't thought he would ever get any return on any of his feelings for her, and he _never _ thought that he would ever get to do _this_ with her. But somehow this new connection between them left little room for surprises, as if they had known all of each other's secrets for a very long time. Nothing hidden. Nothing unclear. No-one confused. She had said _don't stop. _He couldn't help but let his body go cray over this, as the emotional spilled over into the physical.

_Maerad, when you said don't stop...?_

_Yes, oh, God yes, Cadvan, I can't take it any longer and it burns, I burn, for you, make it stop. _And then she pressed herself up against him in a new way, never stopping this eternal kiss, backing him into the wall and pressing her hands to his hip bones, pushing and moving against him instinctively how she knew he wouldn't be able to take it for much longer.

_Maerad, I must warn you, if you don't stop that I- _She grinded herself against him in complete abandon, her fingers clung to him deserately, as if begging for this. She didn't care. This was Cadvan, the other half of her soul. She could be anything she wanted to be with him.

Cadvan had to pull away from the kiss to gasp as her hot advance galvanized him. Their foreheads touched and rested together briefly as they both tried to catch their breath. She could feel him against her, so hot, so hard, so _full. _She moved her hands up and down his body fervently, letting him know that she wasn't afraid.

"Maerad-", his voice was raspy after speaking so long only in her head, "If you keep doing that, I'm going to forget that I am a gentleman... do you understand?"

"Cadvan...", she started, as if she hadn't heard him, even though this was a direct retort to what he had just said, "If you don't take me right here right now I am going to scream so loud I will wake those who sleep beyond the Gates."

"Still using threats, I see, just like a young woman to try and get her way", he said as he nibbled on her jawline, gasping as much as she. Normally a comment such as this would have annoyed her, but the only source of her annoyance now was at any kind of procrastinating on his part.

"Cadvan, stop torturing me, I beg you, give me what I need, give me you." She said all the while gasping and going for his neck or his chest or his ear or his jaw with her mouth and running her hands all over him, as he did to her.

"Maerad, I don't know if you _do_ understand. I don't know if I will be able to control myself with you, or be gentle enough. I don't think you realize how bad I want you, how much I'm holding back at this moment."

"Good. I don't want you to hold back, or be gentle. And I want you to lose complete control, as long as you're inside me when you do it...", she exhaled.

His mouth found hers again after a wild gasp, and she could sense that he had given in, completely. This time he pushed her against the wall, his hands lifted her by her buttocks, and her legs wrapped around his body, giving her a leverage she didn't hate. She felt him grind against her, hard as can be, her back against the wall, arching into him, the forces behind their bodies pushing them into each other, like invisible battling magnets of some sort, with the motion of the ones that push away and the result of the ones that come together.

Finally, his hand found the hem of her dress at her ankle. He clasped there and slowly moved up, gathering the skirt up and up until it was nearly at her waste. As he moved against her again, this time less fabric between them, he grazed her lip with his tongue. She opened her mouth in response and moved her tongue in his mouth, where she began sucking on his top lip. He moaned into her mouth. His hands moved to her back, but she didn't stop clinging onto him with her legs. Some time past and she realized that he had loosened the fastenings of her dress, and that it was now ready to fall to the floor, which would leave her completely naked. He stood her up as she cooperated. And then he moved his hands under the top of her dress, and slowly slid the fabric off of her shoulders, and further down and down, until it had gone over the swell of her breasts, and fallen to the floor, leaving her completely exposed. She didn't feel exposed, though. She just felt like herself. Cadvan looked at her for only a second before throwing his arms around her waste, picking her up and taking her over to his bed where he lay her down gently on her back, kissing her fulls on the lips all the while. He then traveled to her breast which he cupped in his hands, pressing against them carefully. Maerad found that this was heaven, a whole new pleasure that she hadn't known exsisted, and as his mouth kissed the top of her breast and then made it's way to her nipple, where he began sucking softly and nipping lightly, flicking his tongue against it, she just about lost it, letting out a moan that only fueled his desire more.

That was it. She had to have his clothes off now. She wanted his warm skin against hers. She wanted to feel him fully. So she grabbed his shirt and started yanking, undoing buttons, he finally got her message and sat up a bit, letting her remove his shirt with greater ease. She then started his pants, and as she undid them, she couldn't believe how brave she was now, much much she _wanted _what was in those pants. She began pulling them off and he finished them for her, and as his erection became free, Maerad thought that her wetness must be leaking all the way through the bedsheets. She had an impulse and she couldn't help herself anymore, she was beyond all control. She grabbed it as she kissed him, tongue sending shivers all over. He groaned as she moved her hand up and down his shaft, pressing it against her own thigh as she did so.

The tension was too high. The control was too far gone. He pulled back just a little, spreading her legs with his bigs hands and positioning himself just right, grabbing her hips, and buried himself in the depths of her. She cried out against his cheek, in utter pleasure and slight pain. She loved it. It felt so good. Too good. Like it made up for everything bad that had ever happened to her. Cadvan's hands on her felt even better, they felt better than anything. They belonged on her, and to her. He pulled out and thrust in again, this time groaning himself, as Maerad arched her back and moved with him. He thought of how good she felt. Of how good this all felt. They continued their movements over and over again, both with something building inside them, and goal to reach, a release. This wasn't just sex. This was their whole bodies, as well as their souls and their minds and their beings. The release wouldn't be just sexual. It would be beyond all pleasures. It would be of all feelings that apply to human beings in any time. It would be those of the most extreme and gyrating and swelling. Cadvan pushed on, his pleasure taking away all thought, and leaving only Maerad, forever and ever...

The clenching, pounding, swelling, pulsating motions of her body overtook her for a while, and all she could feel was Cadvan, no thought, no world, just Cadvan pushing into her as if he could never stop. His breathing she could listen to forever. Their motions grew quicker, fevered, urgent, even more needing than before. She was going to tell him to go faster, harder, but she didn't need to. He went faster, and he went _harder._ He was pounding her senseless, and she was on the brink. He did everthing her body needed, he slowed when she needed it slow, he quickened when she needed it quick, and he went hard when she needed it hard. He was going hard and fast, now, an she moved with him, arching her back and moaning his name, writhing so hard. And then, suddenly, it felt so good that she knew it was coming, any second now. And there it was. Release, she felt sweet, hot release as she tightened around him and she felt him bursting his warm juices inside her. She found herself lost for breath. Cadvan was moaning in his aftershock, still thrusting against her softly. It still felt too good. It felt so good. Would it ever stop feeling so damn good? She hoped not.

"Oh, Cadvan...", she sighed.

He pushed his lips to her ear and whispered softly, "Can we _please_ argue more often?" Still clinging to her, his hearting pounding fast.

"Yes. You have my utmost permission." Still breathing heavily, she smiled a little bit, though she could hardly think of her facial expression at a time like this.

He moved his lips against hers, sending fire through them both all over again.

THE END FOR NOW


End file.
